This whole year has been so difficult on me that I have felt un-empowered, afraid every mistake would be amplified. Every outburst, action or spoken thought would be deemed to my "disability".
As I stated yesterday that is pretty messed up. It completely un- empowers someone, to say things like
Some borderline individuals are suicidal and self-harm. Other rage, criticize, and make wild accusations.
Hmmmm...sorta sounds like dog S**t to me. Now to add the context of the whole statement (Which actually makes it look even worse)
People with borderline personality disorder see people as all good or all bad and have extreme, blink-of-an-eye mood swings. Their fear of abandonment, combined with feelings of emptiness and self-loathing, makes others feel like they're constantly walking on eggshells.
Some borderline individuals are suicidal and self-harm. Other rage, criticize, and make wild accusations. People with BPD suffer, and so do those around them. About a third of people with BPD also have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD); they are especially unwilling to look at themselves and their own behavior. I'm here to help. Tour this site, buy a book, learn about the XXXXX, or join an online support group.There is hope.
I'm not going to deconstruct this idiotic statement again. It does it on its own and if not check yesterday's entry out.
What I am going to do is illustrate how statements like those not only increase stigma (Would you come forward? Especially if you can continue to hide?) It's a far fetching, poorly worded (Grammatically...try reading it out loud) end all be all statement that is silly. It's false. If you doubt it then get to know someone with BPD...we are not all the same.
Much of the above is true, in context, and as it relates to an individual. It is however insulting and full of prejudice, which is the BASIS of stigma (Either re actively or proactively)
To put a $$$ tag for a cure is offensive. Snake Oil Salesman.
Ok, I digress.
One of the things I have lost this last year is a sense of self identity. It may sound odd to lose something I never even knew but at the time I "thought" I knew who I was. Yesterday reminded me of some of those qualities.
1) I will address anything that I see as divisive, stigmatized, money motivated or makes it harder for someone to come forward. I won't tolerate it, it is a passion I have always held I just never had such a great subject.
2) I am a strong father and husband. A person of character and convictions.
3) Where I am now is not where my story ends. So I ain't going away.
4) No matter how many organizations I see, even the really good ones, still struggle with helping create an environment that make men feel safe. It's not the organizations fault, its a reflection on our society. Till we change how we treat boys and girls growing up this may never fully be conquered...at least not in my lifetime
My role will change one day. Either my voice or my writing will be heard. By some or many, it matters naught.
I titled this blog the very first day
I WILL NOT HIDE
I have learned so much about myself, my illness, the way it has affected my life and others. It was hard and still is. My willingness to talk openly about it has never been motivated by anything but hoping my courage may help others.
I still feel that way. If anyone reads this and is suffering in silence, feel free to contact me. I am not a professional but I am a nurturer, with a lot of life experience. I can't cure or treat anyone, I may be able to help others find valuable resources.
My role will change. I feel a real passion for others hurting, in spite of my own. I know my blog can be really, really dark sometimes...but it never gives up hope.
I have enough of that hope to go around...maybe even some extra faith ;-)