I was denied. Bad, if that is possible. The judge basically accused me of manipulating and lying. I really had no chance to begin with.
I receive my therapy and psych services from a Community Mental health Center and they have a policy of not participating in disability hearings and in fact it's quickly becoming the norm as I study it. Kansas "placed" me in the Medicaid gap so after Aug 31st we have had no insurance (Wife was making $1100/month and cap is $790/a family of 4- no that is not a misprint) so I had no recent back appointments. Things were at a point where I was headed to Ortho for minor hip surgery to repair the torn labrum. So...to disability's "eyes" I wasn't so bad off. Regardless of the fact the state put me in the situation of no insurance to "prove a point" that isn't even real.
My attorney was not very impressive. She was unprepared, didn't meet with me beforehand (The day of, we had met for 30 mins a few weeks before) declined having my father testify. It was and is a shambles. I was asked 3 odd questions by the judge
1. Do you smoke
2. Do you go to the casinos
3. Do you use face book
This is devastating for my family. My understanding is we have to find a reason to appeal and the attorney is no longer on a contingency basis as the "4th" step is in a court of law. Reading his (lengthy) decision he really hated me. It's really hard on my integrity which has been the one thing I have had, maybe to a fault. Maybe I should have "played the system" went to the ER for my back or maybe I should have faked an episode to be admitted IP Psych.
He dismissed my therapists letter and pulled out things I never heard from my psych notes. He put a ton of weight on the original Psych who I left after he said "What do you need, a month or two?" (To get better) He was a Resident and just a jerk. His notes apparently accused me of manipulation and then the judge tied that to something my psych commented on the last year has said but wasn't specific.
We should have qualified for Medicaid after my wife lost her job Sept. 30th but we still haven't been approved. I have had to keep rescheduling my Dr appointments as we wait. Meds I just take what I can afford. The back and hip have really deteriorated over these last 3 months and apparently I said it affected me getting up some days (which is true) but because there was no "Dr note" to confirm he said I was lying.
I never had a chance. OJ's dream team wasn't going to change this 70 year old conservative judge's mind. He glared at me, I told my dad immediately, "I lost, I saw it in his eyes Dad, he hates me"
I can't even process what this really means right now. I have little confidence my attorney can be of much help but I will wait to hear from them I guess.
I wrote the above e-mail to a few key people yesterday. I really struggled with whether I wanted to post it here. A few people have already started asking what am I going to do...or worse started suggesting places I could work.
Not what I want to hear or talk about. To "jump" to what are you going to do insinuates that the disability denial was correct, that I can work.
The decision accepts Borderline, Bi-polar (?), depression and hip damage/back pain. They accepted it just don't believe it qualifies me. That's where an appeal may get tricky.
I don't know what I am going to do. I literally physically can not stand or sit for more than an hour...regardless of what the "decision" says.
At the end of the day I am left penniless, powerless, possibly without any recourse. I don't have health insurance so I can't even get a Dr. to see me (back/hip) I can't afford therapy so I go to a Community Mental Health Center who refuses to get involved...in spite of telling me to my face I shouldn't be working.
Regardless of being administered in Kansas disability is a federal program and my country says I don't qualify and all I was doing was trying to abuse the system.
All of a sudden I don't care about Starbucks coffee cups, Targets offensive sweaters, Medicaid Expansion. Democrats, Republicans.
Can't even process what it will mean to tell my kids and to do so at this time of year.
Merry Christmas Sam Brownback