It ain't pretty, written in real time and brutally honest.
The idea of starting an organization called My Brothers Keeper came from 2 places
1) Promise Keepers- Took off in the 90's not MH but Men relating to Men about Men
2) To force this to the fore front and KEEP it there, an org as such would be something anyone, anywhere can start their own group/chapter
The concept is that we all need others support at some point in our lives. That needs to be an easy venue and safe. Men do not feel safe talking about their issues.
Brandon Marshall, a great Wide Receiver in the NFL also has BPD. When the whole bullying incident occurred in Miami with Incognito, his interview was just spot on for this
“A LITTLE BOY FALLS DOWN AND THE FIRST THING WE SAY AS PARENTS IS ‘GET UP. SHAKE IT OFF. YOU WILL BE OK. DON’T CRY.’ WHEN A LITTLE GIRL FALLS DOWN, WHAT DO WE SAY? ‘IT’S GOING TO BE OK.’ WE VALIDATE THEIR FEELINGS. SO RIGHT THERE FROM THAT MOMENT, WE ARE TEACHING OUR MEN TO MASK THEIR FEELINGS, DON’T SHOW THEIR EMOTIONS. IT’S THAT TIMES A HUNDRED WITH FOOTBALL PLAYERS. YOU CAN’T SHOW THAT YOU’RE HURT. YOU CAN’T SHOW ANY PAIN. SO, FOR A GUY THAT COMES INTO THE LOCKER ROOM AND HE SHOWS A LITTLE VULNERABILITY, YOU KNOW, THAT’S A PROBLEM. SO THAT’S WHAT I MEAN BY ‘THE CULTURE OF THE NFL,’ AND THAT’S WHAT WE HAVE TO CHANGE.”
3) Taking steps to keep this up in the fore front
6) Knowing you are not alone
What walking with someone means to me is sharing the journey, validating feelings (Not necces the actions)
I feel so alone and I have a great wife, Dad, belief in God and the Cubs (If you believe in the Cubs you are hopeful eternally lol) And its still so hard, painful and hurts. We need men to rally around other Men
Don't attempt the following
2) Trying to be their therapist
3) For God's sake do NOT say "What are you depressed about?"
4) Setting a timeline
It can be as simple as saying "Hey I understand your hurting" Don't judge, don't worry if you don't understand it. Just lend a helping hand. Just say you care
Just walk with me and I will walk with you. I will share your pain and hurt. I will stick by your side
I will carry your burden and share mine with you
And as the Swon Brothers say:
"Tonight I'm gonna pray for you". This is the perfect song for what I propose