Sort of describes where I have been the last 2 weeks. The immediate shock of the diagnosis has been replaced with what is the really hard work. As a male in a society that doesn't accept male weakness I am faced with the real possibility of having to go back to work before I am ready. The irony here is that denying me Disability now creates a scenario that is bleak and without much hope. It's almost like I have to do something "dramatic" to "prove" I am crazy. Any progress it feels is held against me as though "I'm cured" or somehow my ability to have self awareness is all I need, well that's a lot of bunk and really robs me of the chance to get better and recover.
I have a diagnosis that meets many criteria including being listed in disability as a qualifying diagnosis. It's permanent, there is not yet a treatment modal that works, yes DBT has about a 70% success rate. At best it will require a lifetime to manage.
Frankly part of my not blogging is I grow a little weary of all the attention the "positive" posts get and people (INCLUDING THOSE THAT SUFFER) want to deny, ignore and dismiss the negative ones.
Shame on anyone that does that. Major shame if you also suffer from mental illness. It's not realistic to think this is "easily" manageable or to down play the effect its had on me and my life. Part of honest open conversation must begin with some common ground and that is so far away.
I have often referenced Brandon Marshall's speech during the Richie Incognito issue, basically he said if we don't change the way we raise our children, this testosterone, male dominated environment [my words] will continue to be the way we run things. I see a commercial out now that says "Dad's don't take sick days" Again, an ignorant statement and so indicative as to what is wrong with society.
My goal all along was to bring some real, real time, look into someone that slipped through the cracks, the effect it has had on me and my journey to get better . It's NOT to promote anything at this point and I take some offense when people act like its DBT or failure. Let's focus on the patient more and less on promoting our own careers and beliefs.
Please don't follow me or promote my posts on Twitter if you only do the positive ones, then regardless of you being a therapist or a garbage man, you clearly don't get it and you ROB us the right to get better. I am actually sick of all the DBT posts, sorry but I am. It's NOT yet an accepted treatment model and there IS evidence some people come out worse than when they went in. The fact I am approaching 48 and spent 42 years oblivious to the issues I had, don't patronize me with false promises and my only goal to getting better is to get better. And that takes time.
I'm learning about myself. Don't act like you "know me" (This is directed to the general public not my friends who DO know me)
Here's the big one. DON'T take my cause and make it yours. I do NOT represent DBT. I do NOT adhere that it is the "only way" to treat this as that belief makes someone feel like if they don't get better they failed. Shame on any therapist that promotes that thinking, directly or indirectly.
We out and out suck as a country with MH. And like everything else it is only an issue when the media decides it is. No one wants to SEE the hard work HEAR about the setbacks and to not allow those moments derives any hope of getting better