I look out at our world and I am afraid. I am afraid for what we look like when I am 65-67. I worry that the world will overwhelm and consume my children. As I have blogged my 12 year old suffers from PTSD and some bullying at her school. I watch guys like Curt Schilling stand up and attack but lets be honest no one is going to care about some 12 year old in some school. At least they had their stuff put in writing on the internet and were able to attack it. I applaud him, don't get me wrong. Our situation is this. My daughters therapist tells us its as bad, if not worse, than she describes. We are poor in a rich county and this Republican grip says hey if you don't like it or can't afford it- leave. There is a new principal who has done things like cancel the 6th grade dance for bad behavior...and the kids not involved were rewarded with "Donuts" (In front of the other kids even)
I have gone toe to toe with this school system for 14 years. What happened to my son was disgusting. He was labeled a "bad kid" in kindergarten. We began to realize by about 3rd grade that something wasn't right. We approached the school for an evaluation and they said no, its all behavioral. For our part we should have sought professional help by 4th grade but it was a year later when things came to a head. Joey was punched in the face and at 9:30 we received a call at home from the principal (Slurred speech) telling us that Joey had some responsibility in getting punched.
I went nuts (Shock and surprise) After telling her if she ever called my house after 9, with or without slurred speech, we would be visiting the school board. I confronted her on many things including the assertion that my son had brought this on somehow.
We pulled him out in 5th grade (He was now in therapy and we were exploring several diagnosis') and that was a huge mistake. His old school's principal retired and we put him back there. We approached the principal to demand an eval. We know knew the old principal technically was not allowed to deny us at least an initial evaluation. Joey was diagnosed with Tourette's and Aspbergers
The long and short of it is we could never get the school to adhere to his 504 plan...especially in HS and after just being worn down himself he stopped trying his Jr. year and dropped out with less than a 20% in any class, by Nov of 2014. He is actually now doing really well and working.
As one may imagine the 4 years our oldest daughter was with us resulted in tons of meetings in school as well..though she brought much of it upon herself...it was still not great and this Republican Taliban of the Midwest had no patience for her and she was actually granted by a judge the chance to take her GED and skip her Senior year. She basically convinced this judge that the school itself was unbearable.
My 12 year old hurts so bad. For those just now "tuning in" she has PTSD due to the following events occurring in a 4 year span
Sudden loss of Aunt she was close to who was 36
Debilitating stroke of her grandma
Sudden loss of the aunt she was closest to at age 40
Loss of that persons husband a year ago who she was close to and he adored her
Dad loses 2 jobs
My own recent diagnosis
Inherit a bi polar 14 year old sister which is a book in and of itself as to the effect she had on us
Mom is briefly hospitalized for depression
So "excuse" her for being sad, crying a lot and struggling with the meanness in people. She has an understanding of the finality of death like few others at age 12. This year she tries not to cry and that isn't much better.
Yesterday she came home crying. It's too much for her. The talking about her loud enough for her to hear...even with some comments being caught by administrators. The incessant teasing about being a crybaby. The teasing about us being poor (Rule of thumb here in this county...5th richest..is either you can both afford to live here and will abide by the culture...or you may leave) The depth of her problems and pain can overwhelm her few friends and has probably driven a few away and so she just doesn't talk about her feelings anymore rather listens to their 6th grade problems, who likes who, etc....If you went back to an early Nov. post in the blog you would get a clearer picture.
So...why don't I go to the school? A couple of reasons:
We have no real proof
Their "handling" of bad behavior was to cancel the valentines dance and feed the few good kids donuts in front of the others. So they are aware.
She is terrified of retaliation
This is a really rich area and I'm telling you people who are poor and in this county are treated differently
They changed where she go's to middle school and it's a more blue collar type than the area we live in. Basically they took the one middle class area and shipped them to a school 5 miles away versus the "richest" one 2 miles away. Whatever
The middle school has one of the best principals I have ever been involved with- she won't tolerate this behavior.
My own anger and 14 years of frustration
Parents of older children all remember that moment you realize your child is no longer a child. That moment for me was yesterday. But 12 is too early....isn't it?
I'm terrified my own diagnosis will be thrown back in my face.
Yesterday I realized her pain though is adult pain and it's intense and I fear where its heading if things don't change. I realized its not little kid stuff. It's real and I don't know what to do