- Trouble sleeping.
- Irritability or nervousness.
- Heat sensitivity, increased sweating.
- Hand tremors.
- Rapid heartbeat.
- Weight loss without dieting
- Fatigue or muscle weakness
Therapy was good Monday, real good. I had e-mailed a rather aggressive letter to my therapist and she was really good at validating how I feel but also told me I needed to feel safe to say "anything" to her. Well Jess, I am about 80-90% there. :-)
I have been exploring my feelings that led to a tirade against DBT. Where was it coming from? I think it really was from what I described at that time.
I accept that DBT works 70% of the time and should be a part of recovery. I also maintain that this "Wow we have a breakthrough" mentality needs to be tempered some. It really is a lot of pressure to Succeed and the 30% that don't may feel pretty worthless. There also needs to be some consideration that one may still have moments that they can't control. So it's like telling someone that quits smoking that if they light up they should still say I'm a non-smoker, accept the indiscretion and move on. We need that reinforcement too.
For me, Radical Acceptance is really hard. My whole life I have been a fighter, I don't give up easily if I feel passionate about something. Getting back to my thought of "Not allowing myself" to grieve, accept and move on, if that needs to happen to get me rolling again then we may take some time getting to a mostly DBT based therapy.
Treatment MUST be individualized, as it should for any illness. I feel strongly about that.
My friend and Mentor told me once there are 3 parts to each of us. The physical, the mental and the spiritual. I maintain if 0 are working your dead, if 1 is working you are sort of unsteady and not at ease, 2 your doing well and all 3 you are rocking! So...its nice and carries hope for me if we get the physical and mental piece rolling and the spiritual peace begins to become a part of my recovery.
There are many little sayings about well anything really. My favorite is this one.