Oh well. Not much I can do.
Not the focus of my blog. I saw my therapist today. I had seen him last Friday. He had shared with me that he was heading to a conference on an Island off Washington State. The conference is a CBT based mindfulness one. Something near and dear to my heart. I believe more in CBT but also feel PARTS of DBT are awesome...like mindfulness. It should be interesting.
He asked me if I could, over the course of the week, each day or evening write down 3 things I am grateful for. That was it. Do you think I did it?
BPD's don't do homework. Add in NPD and we still don't do it but tell you we did :-)
I thought about it a few times. Never at bedtime. So my initial offering above on chasing meds all week was my attempt to justify not doing it. Probably holds some merit, but still.
So....for the next 7 days, whether I feel like it or not, I am going to blog three things I am grateful for. Then I will send him the link (He may have it...but muuuaaaahhhh I now get to make him read the blog lol)
So Jeff....here goes. Three things I am grateful for. Not in any particular order
1. You- my therapist. You have challenged me when needed, gently but firm. You have accepted me for who I am, who I was and who I may yet be. I always know you are on my side. Not in a way that justify's everything I do/did but in a way that is like "I'm a fan of that Michael Johnson." You believe in me when I don't always feel it. You allow me to express myself. Your patient and kind. Your a safety net I may not always need but do now and rest easier knowing your only a call away...
Basically your "alright" considering your a St Louis guy :-)
2- My Father. I could talk about my dad for days. So could most people that know him. Kind, wise, a leader, someone that has had my back for 49 years...even when others have encouraged him to "let me go" which...with what we know now could have been the end of me. Some people still think he does too much for me. I'm not sure how you can do too much for your kids. He's my friend, my mentor...but mostly my dad. With the loss of my sister and Mom (His wife and daughter) he has seen pain and stayed firm in his faith.
3- My wife and kids. You wanna talk about a great group of people. My wife is my angel. There is no doubt in my mind that God brought two broken people together. That are learning to be one whole person. I'm so proud of her, she is so strong. She has endured much pain from family and even from me, especially early in our marriage. She has grown into a wise, kind and caring person who loves her children and husband with everything she has. She's been the Wind Beneath my Wings for 17 years. My kids. God I love them. My son, who is 20, hasn't had an easy life and struggles with mild Aspberger's himself. He didn't finish HS...literally he just gave up. 2 Years later...he has been at the same job for 18 months, they love him he enjoys it. It has opened doors socially for him and we see so much growth. My 13 year old...who I have blogged about a lot....she is such a fighter. She has inner strength she doesn't even know about. She fights so hard....I try to help her on her journey as does my wife and I know we help...but after the pain she has endured....it may take time. My 6 year old is a joy as well...very funny child...so far the child that has had the most "stress" free upbringing (Believe it or not) and has real leadership skills.
So that's it for today. Easy to use my Dad and then wife/kids. Smart though...if anyone else does this too...use family first (So you don't forget)
We will see what I come up with tomorrow.