We attended this church once that had a 3 part series about crisis in marriages/relationships. Basically it went sort of like this
Week 1- Celebrating marriage, getting to know each other in a deeper way then a crisis hits...
Week 2- Many couples not only survive a crisis but feel like their relationship is even stronger but
Week 3- The post crisis. This is when we are at our most vulnerable. Devoid of strength...this is when affairs, divorces, increased use of unhealthy attempts at self soothing (Drugs, Porn, Alcohol, etc....)
Less than 4 months later my wife and I went through the above "model" and it played out exactly as we were taught.
I feel like my relationship with my wife and kids is so different than 2008. Of all the stuff I have dealt with God blessed me with the perfect wife for me. My kids are good kids.
But that doesn't remove the post crisis danger(s). As we await for a call to let us know if she will be discharged today or tomorrow we are all excited but still concerned. Will we, as a family, be able to focus everything on this young lady. Can we put aside selfish needs while maintaining good self soothing activities. It feel's sobering, overwhelming, scary and yet our love as a family is just stronger than it was.
We caught this in time. I do want to let new readers know my entry yesterday was after meeting with her onsite therapist and he made a chilling..but accurate...statement. He said this girl is not at all an attention seeker or manipulator and there was real danger of her following through. Only by the grace of God and some prompting from my wife did we catch this in time...except for the cutting which is what led to the IP.
We worry that returning to school is going to be overwhelming. There is a new cliche in our school system. Not only jocks and the smart kids, etc...now the "damaged" kids are tight. 2 of her friends had been hospitalized this last year.
We talk about #zerosuicide but do we truly understand how school is a real problem. With my own little girl, she was pushed down on the playground and when she went to talk to the teacher it was dismissed and they had a talk about tattling. Yeah that's exactly how that should have been handled #Disgusted We live in a suburb where most families make way more than even the principal so I understand the dangers of talking to "little Susy's" parents because they will be defensive, maybe send a nasty letter or even go to the school board. We on the other hand are very poor which is just another issue with the kids.
I'm glad she is stabilized. I'm so glad she was honest with us by stating she could not sign a non self harm contract. I saw the calmness, smiles, even a little self confidence...now we have to make sure all that work she did isn't undone.
I want to say to her (and I will) that "You are beautiful"